OK, back to The Rules. Finally we are done going through the introductory chapters and are ready to get into the rules themselves.
Rule #1 is Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”.
Every time I come across this phrase in the book I giggle. It’s a rather ludicrously worded way to state an important concept; that every woman has dignity and is worthy of respect.
The Rules, remember, were written for women who chased men but couldn’t understand why men didn’t want to marry them. So the authors tell their readers that they are to cultivate an attitude of radiance and confidence. It’s about developing a positive frame of mind. Believing that we live in a universe of abundance, Rules women don’t settle, chase anyone, or use sex to make men love them. It’s about believing in love and marriage and purging cynicism from their thoughts.
A lot of this is pretending, but whatever we pretend to be, we become.
[If you're feeling insecure] You tell yourself, “Any man would be lucky to have me,” until it sinks in and you start to believe it.
One of the most freeing things that is in the book is giving permission to women to not have to do anything on a date beyond show up.
He’ll either love you or not. It’s not your fault if he doesn’t call again.
Yet, they do go into what a Rules Girl is like on a date.
On a date, you never show that getting married is foremost on your mind. You’re cool. [...] You let him find out all about you, instead of the other way around. Your answers are light, short, and flirtatious. Your gestures are soft and feminine. All your movements [...] are fluid and sexy, not jerky or self-conscious.
Sometimes, lonely, angry men think that women have all the sexual power but let me tell you guys, a lot of women think the same about men. So this chapter is a reminder to women that they do have power and that there is no reason to give everything away to men who don’t love them. Women have dignity and that should show up in the way they act.