Rule #1 – Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”

OK, back to The Rules. Finally we are done going through the introductory chapters and are ready to get into the rules themselves.

Rule #1 is Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”.

Every time I come across this phrase in the book I giggle. It’s a rather ludicrously worded way to state an important concept; that every woman has dignity and is worthy of respect.

The Rules, remember, were written for women who chased men but couldn’t understand why men didn’t want to marry them. So the authors tell their readers that they are to cultivate an attitude of radiance and confidence. It’s about developing a positive frame of mind. Believing that we live in a universe of abundance, Rules women don’t settle, chase anyone, or use sex to make men love them. It’s about believing in love and marriage and purging cynicism from their thoughts.

A lot of this is pretending, but whatever we pretend to be, we become.

[If you’re feeling insecure] You tell yourself, “Any man would be lucky to have me,” until it sinks in and you start to believe it.

One of the most freeing things that is in the book is giving permission to women to not have to do anything on a date beyond show up.

He’ll either love you or not. It’s not your fault if he doesn’t call again.

Yet, they do go into what a Rules Girl is like on a date.

On a date, you never show that getting married is foremost on your mind. You’re cool. […] You let him find out all about you, instead of the other way around. Your answers are light, short, and flirtatious. Your gestures are soft and feminine. All your movements […] are fluid and sexy, not jerky or self-conscious.

Sometimes, lonely, angry men think that women have all the sexual power but let me tell you guys, a lot of women think the same about men. So this chapter is a reminder to women that they do have power and that there is no reason to give everything away to men who don’t love them. Women have dignity and that should show up in the way they act.

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13 Comments

Filed under Book Reviews, Dating, Female dignity, The Rules

13 responses to “Rule #1 – Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”

  1. JW

    I’m going to argue the sexual power point (maybe that makes me a lonely, angry man).

    How many women, no matter how unattractive, could not get laid tonight if they really wanted to? And for guys? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

    • Anna

      Where you go wrong with your argument is that you assume that women are looking for sex.

      • JW

        Expand, please. And what did you mean by “sexual power” then?

        • Anna

          Women-in-general are looking for a mate that they admire/respect/are proud of that they will be happy to be sexually exclusive with long-term. Women know that they can get cheap sex but it’s not to their advantage to seek that out.

          But the quality guys who are looking for a lifelong, exclusive mate are rarer than the guys out for cheap sex. This is the sexual power that men have; they can deny women exclusivity, and, frankly, treat her like a prostitute without the payment.

          So, the context of the Rules, they tell women not to chase men, not to make things easy for them just because they’re desperate because that’s not attractive. Those women don’t want to wait for the guy to fall in love with them and pursue them and make a commitment to them, rather than the other way around.

    • Anna

      This might cheer you up.

      Also, in all seriousness, if you ever start to feel bitter or self-pitying about being single, do whatever you can to stop those thoughts and feelings.

      • JW

        I’ve found that I’m mostly pretty okay with my singleness. I know that there are a handful of respectable ladies who do or did seriously like me, so I don’t feel hopeless. When I get most antsy is when there is a girl I like and I have this gut-wrenching desire to get closer to her, but don’t know how to do it.

        But I want to know why you think negative feelings should be expunged.

        • Anna

          I think they should be expunged because angry men scare women away, just like bitter women scare men away. A lot of singles, especially long-term singles, can really let those feelings take over and it’s a shame because it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you let yourself think all the time, “I’ll never get married, no one will ever love me”, that will be reflected in your interactions with the opposite sex.

          • Harry

            Actually, a lot of those bitter people try to poison it for the rest of us by interfering, meddling and trying to manipulate other people who are in relationships and who are going about their own private lives. And they are legion. And they are parasites.

    • Harry

      Unattractive women leering at me give me the creeps! I can’t stand them! My ex tells me I should be honored. To hell with that. I have standards! I know plenty of guys don’t but I’d rather jack off, quite frankly, than screw some ugly woman who doesn’t give a damn about what kind of shape she keeps her body in! Three nasty looking heavy set middle aged women were checking me out in the gym today. I was working my a## off in order to looked ripped. They weren’t really doing much of anything except leering and smiling. I felt like walking over to them and telling them to take a look in the damned mirror and concentrate on getting their flabby a##es into shape! When I left the gym, a gorgeous girl half my age walked full on into me. For a minute I thought it was an accident then I realized that from where she was walking she had seen me WAY before the collision. And she did turn around and smile. I will tell you something, I know guys who marry plain Janes and Jabba The Hut looking women because they want to protect their investment. They think the woman is going to consider herself lucky and no other guys are going to be really interested in acting as rivals for a plain Jane or Jabba The Hut. What these bozos don’t realize is that ugly women can and do find plenty of guys who will stick their little pork sausages in them.

      • Jewels

        Actually, what you may find unattractive, some men find very attractive. I’m wondering if you one day you get married and your spouse had an accident that made her unattractive, you would stay? peoples outward appearance changes but the inside is what to seems be more fulfilling. But when your mature you realize that.

  2. Emilda Adelbai

    Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it. The rules work. Simple as it may seem, men want a challenge, and they will lose interest if you are easy. Being a creature like no other is just another way of saying “Have a high self esteem about yourself”, it’s not telling you to be somebody your not.

    Which goes to say and I quote “Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”

  3. Emilda Adelbai

    The “Rules” are for people who want to settle down and get married. If this is not your goal for dating right now, this book is not for you. Eventually when settling down is your priority, you gonna need this book. After you have gone through men, and men who don’t work out. Your gonna need this book.

    And even if you did try it, maybe you didn’t quite understand the book. So read it again. Try to grasp the true essence of what the book is all about.

    Sure you can go about dating the way you have always dated and that is your choice. However it you are a person who wants to settle down and is tired of always dating the wrong person, end up being hurt then do the “RULES”.. It saves your time and heart ache. Why go out with 10 men who really don’t care for you that gives you a few months of pleasure and ends up in disaster when you can date a couple of men who are head over heals about you who will chase you to the end of the earth.

    Filtering is what the rules is about. It’s not about the quantity it’s about the quality.

  4. Pingback: ‘Great’ content and the scarcity principle | Digital Scout

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