One thing that I hope to explore a bit with this blog is what leads to a good marriage. How can you be a good partner? This New York Times Magazine article suggests that generosity is a huge factor:
Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together.
Experts say the generosity can be as simple as couple making coffee, giving flowers or physical attention.
But whatever one spouse is giving, the other has to actually want.
‘(It’s) signaling to your spouse that you know them, and are trying to do things for them that are consistent with your understanding of them,’ Bradford Wilcox, one of the study’s researchers, told MSNBC.
I wonder if one of the implications of this is that if you are trying to discern whether to marry someone, if you do not find yourself trying to make them happy by spontaneously doing things for them, that is a sign that you don’t love them and therefore probably shouldn’t get married to them.