JW takes umbrage at my suggestion that “Dating is the process of discerning whether you like, respect, and can see yourself building a life with someone”.
Saying that the point of dating is marriage-screening seems like saying that the point of sex is reproduction. It may be true from an evolutionary perspective that the point of sex (dating) is reproduction (marriage-screening)1, but at least from a male POV, we rarely have sex (date) thinking hoo boy I’d really like some offspring (marriage) out of this.
He then points out that women are “romantically cautious”. In fact, women are coming from a completely different place than men are regarding mating. By nature men generally are less discerning than women.
We didn’t even have dating until a few generations ago. It was understood that people got married and were expected to reproduce, not for their happiness but for the good and for the propagation of the species/society/family. A man could court a woman, but take her out without supervision? Ha. And have sex with her without consequence? Ahaha.
But social mores change, even if human nature doesn’t. The pill and the sexual revolution changed the rules of the game. Suddenly, women were giving it away for cheap or free.
Women have actually lost power with the sexual revolution. Women weren’t built for that kind of relationship with men. It made them miserable. It was never a good idea for women to have sex with anyone they fancied.
And it is probably not a good idea for women who want to eventually get married to date men that will never marry them or that would not make a good match.
So women, who have the most at stake, are the ones that need to set the rules of the mating process. Women need to be rational about this process because we have the most to lose.
Men, read this blog to understand what women want from you and what is important to them. Don’t read it thinking it describes men and their wants and needs.