I have not been posting because I’ve been on vacation, but that has given me the opportunity to hear about various outcomes of romantic connections.
First item: Pending divorce between a wife and her lying, cheating husband. Now, before you feel too sorry for her, please know that she married him knowing that he had cheated on her while dating. However, she went ahead and married him because she had spent so much time dating him that it would be “a waste of time and effort not to”. Apparently no one had taught her the concept of sunk costs. It doesn’t matter what you’ve put into something, if it isn’t good quality or what you want, cut your losses and get out of there.
Dating is the process of discerning whether you like, respect, and can see yourself building a life with someone. So it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating, that you’ve moved in together, that you have a kid together. If he (or she) is a lying, cheating, scum ball, get out. And don’t endlessly date/move in with someone/have a kid with them next time.
Change is scary and can be miserable, but not as miserable as being married to the wrong person.
Second item: Many single people think that they don’t have to do anything in particular to gain a mate and that it should “just happen” because love is about fate, right? Wrong.
Single Male randomly meets beautiful woman who shares his obscure interests. He gives her his email address and asks her to stay in touch.
Mistake. By not asking for her contact info he absolves himself of the consequences to his ego of her not returning his messages despite his efforts. To illustrate:
If he didn’t have to make an effort and she gets a hold of him –> Lazy man’s win.
If he didn’t have to make an effort and she doesn’t get a hold of him –> No harm no foul. (Rationalization: It wouldn’t have worked out anyway/she wasn’t interested)
If he did make an effort and she doesn’t respond –> Ego fail.
If he did make an effort and she does respond –> Ego win.
Two of these help a male act like a man and two don’t. I’ll let you figure out which are which.