Rule #3 Don’t Stare at Men or Talk Too Much

(Part of a series discussing The Rules.)

Some women talk a lot. They open their mouths and a never-ending torrent comes out. This can be amusing around other women, but not so wonderful for enchanting men on a date.

The reason this rule exists is for the following reasons:

1. Many men find it tiresome to be with a woman who won’t shut up.

2. You may say things that are best said in later dates or never at all.

3. It keeps men from shining and trying to impress you.

4. You won’t be able to learn as much about him. For example, had you been relatively quiet and demure, would he had asked you about yourself, your work, and your interests? Or would he have blathered on about himself?

Good reminder:

Don’t feel you have to be entertaining or have interesting conversation all the time. He will think that you’re trying too hard. Just be there. […] If anything, men should be the ones scrambling their brains to come up with clever lines, asking you a lot of questions, and wondering or not they’re keeping you interested.





Filed under Book Reviews, Dating, Female dignity, Men, The Rules

5 responses to “Rule #3 Don’t Stare at Men or Talk Too Much

  1. JW


    What I hear this saying is that we women really just want a respectable man who will give us a ring, and the way to get that is to sit back and let him *try* to impress us, not unlike the way we might let a child proudly show us the stick figure drawing he made. Aww, he’s trying to impress us—isn’t that precious?

    (Now can I have my ring please?)

    • Anna

      Meh. I don’t have any problem with the idea that men should be nervous about impressing their dates.

      You may feel patronized by the notion, but the way this plays out in real life is absolutely the correct way of things. If it was the other way around, it would be women chasing men and that would be turn off. Men must pursue women, not the other way around.

      Assuming that the proper end of dating/courtship is to convince a woman to marry him, the guy must show that he is worthy of his lady love’s affections. Men feel good when they please women and earn her respect.

      • JW

        #1- I think it’s great that you understand this “reality.”

        #2- I think this “reality” is sad.

        • Marcia

          I am a beautiful, very highly educated woman, both very feminine and cerebral, rather accomplished and fluent in a couple of languages not my original, mother tongue. When I am out with a Beau, of COURSE I want to be the interesting one as well, expressing political and philosophical opinions, or a view of the world, the future of the US economy…all kinds of things. As long as a woman is not brash or has to have the last word in everything, men love an engaged, interesting date. I can accept much of what the Rules says about just holding back somewhat, but for a man to be out with someone who is sitting there just as dull as a doornail is just silly. No man would stay too interested in such a type. It is not enough that a man do all the work, she too has to be worthy of the chase.

          I am getting the feeliing that Mediocrities swear by this stuff. Not much to offer? Then let the games begin! It’s your only way!

          • zman

            I agree with your conclusion. SETTLING FOR MEDIOCRITY. Women who follow “the rules” religiously are like the religious fundamentalists of the dating world. Somewhere along the line they decided to give up their own personal dating style and adopt(let someone else do their thinking for them) a totally scripted robotic methodology. Their is great security in a scripted method that claims to have ALL the answers –just as there is great security in a religious belief system that claims to have all the answers! MY opinion : In both cases it is somewhat of an intellectually lazy type of cop-out that provides a false sense of security in two worlds where security is hard to come by!!

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